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THIS RANT 20/08/96
Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often. |
For reasons to do with my real job, I've been spending more time than is strictly necessary hanging around sex sites on the Internet. One thing this has achieved is to give me an uncomfortable familiarity with the titling conventions of porn flicks. I therefore feel a sickening degree of confidence in proposing the following pair of lists, detailing both good and bad titles for potential skin flicks of the future:
| GOOD TITLE FOR A PORN FLICK | BAD TITLE FOR A PORN FLICK |
| Deep Inside Pamela Anderson | Deep Inside Amanda Vanstone |
| Begging For It | Not At All Interested |
| Teenage Mattress | Twin Beds For Granny |
| Rampacious Young Vixens | Bored Actresses Fake Orgasm |
| David Duchovny's Bedroom Tips | Bruce Ruxton's Bedroom Tips |
| All Night Long | 60 Seconds Of Fumbling |
| Fun With Leather | Fun With Toenail Clippings |
| Topless Temptation | Toothless Temptation |
| Tanned Blond Tennis Instructor | Hairy Backed Tax Inspector |
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