Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

What is it about sandwiches?

That, though, was nothing compared to the bag produced by Fast & Fresh Sandwiches of Pitt Street, where I obtained two sandwiches (one chicken and coriander, one turkey and salad) and a can of Mountain Dew last Friday. One side featured a handy complete menu of every sandwich produced by the shop (it's making me hungry just reading it now). But the other side devoted a full page of tightly-compressed A4 text to telling me about how just good this sandwich shop was. The opening words from director Keith Ford are:

For too long I have taken for granted our customers are aware of all the tiny details that makes us so different.

Over the next ten or so paragraphs, Keith shows a continuing disregard for grammar as he extols the virtues of Fast & Fresh. I haven't the energy to list them all here, but they include:

• a head of catering who got 100% in his final exams
• "An Australian company looking after Australian workers." (Keith appears to believe that this is a complete sentence)
• prawns from the "ice-cold waters of Greenland"
• ham carved off the bone ("the taste is far superior", apparently)
• a walnut and raisin bread described as "an exceptional and unusual experience" (but then, so is bathing in mayonnaise)

To be fair, the sandwiches are pretty good (and at the price they'd want to be). But why write an essay about them? (A rich question coming from someone who's just written a rant about the essay, I know, but remember, I run this show.)

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